Edith watches me taking a magazine quiz
That will tell me if I’m a hypochondriac.
When I was ten I found a dinosaur bone
In my backyard, beneath the Slip ’N Slide.

Oh, Edith, do you know what this meant for me?!
But of course some neighborhood night thug stole it.
As expected: I’m not a hypochondriac.
I’m actually dying. One time on a camping trip

I found a sack of whalebones in the sand.