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I want my former costar Glenn Close to call me “charm personified.”

No author dodged readers who were indifferent to masterpieces.

Everything white is a white spider. The spider spins regardless of color.

I’d done what no woman of my race and social station had ever done.

I was the man in her life. I know I’m different now. Now I’m a bird.

Barth looked after his students beyond anything expected of him.

He’s got it out. And I say Who’s there right now? Just your ex-wife.

You know that sex isn’t everything. It’s time to get a move on.

There was a special kind of power in playing the father of God.

The wine was administered to Theo’s lips, and then the rest of us.

What can go heartbreakingly wrong, and what would you do?

We skip across the surface like a stone slung by a giant travel agent.

I’m not afraid of dying. I’ve died on camera before. It’s not so bad.

People assume married cartoonists are laughing all the time.

If you play, decide three things: the rules, stakes, and quitting time.

He showered, shaved, put on a clean shirt, then lay down to die.

They’d developed Santa’s entire system, had written the code.

A romp through everyday dramas with Hemingway, Kafka, and more!

Though I’ve never killed anything myself, I’ve been complicit.

She was so happy they were going to save her from the city of Dallas.

My girlfriend, Sweet Polly Purebred, left me for George of the Jungle.

He looked a look of vicious happiness and eagerly pried the watch open.

I’ve found that love has provided my life’s happiest moments.

I simply wrapped my arms around Maxey and held on for dear life.

A friend of my father’s once told me, “You’ll never be a writer.”

I’m a big fan of then. A novel needs a lot of thens.

I like to think of love as something that one should keep feeding, like a fire.

I hang there, upside down, watching Bronwyn, her face beatific.